How not to leave your wife
Don't tell her you haven't loved her for X years. She doesn't need to know this.
Don't tell her you're not attracted to her body type. Bad enough you're leaving her - why destroy her self-esteem.
Don't tell her you're scrogging a 21-year-old co-ed. Yeah, she'll find out eventually, but she doesn't need to hear it now.
I'm sure there are more, but those are the mistakes one of my old high school friends recently made. At least IMO.
Divorce is no big deal when there aren't any kids or they're older. When you have small kids it should be an absolute last resort. Suck it up!

UPDATE:
Okay, just looking back over my posts and I'm laughing at my contradictory statements. In this post I'm dogging my buddy for leaving his kids. In a previous post (July 3) I stated that I thought my wife's friend should divorce her husband.

To try to clarify - I DO think divorce should be a last resort and a certain amount of sucking-it-up is sometimes necessary. But I also don't think you do your kids much of a favor if you continue in a marriage where you can't stand your spouse - where you come to despise them.

My high school buddy was probably at that point, and so it may well be for the best. And my wife’s friend has been separated for two years – her kids are already used to it.

What to do with people who abuse kids
I was just reading about the rape and murder of 5-year-old Samantha Runnion. I don't understand. How can anyone do such a thing?
It doesn't help that I have a 5-year-old daughter. I can't help imagining how I would feel if it happened to her. I don't think that's something you can ever get over. It would consume your whole life. To know that the last hours of her life were spent in terror and confusion.
I don't support state-sanctioned capital punishment. ONLY because I think that one innocent person put to death by the state is unacceptable.
However.
If anyone were to rape and murder my daughter, I would certainly kill them if I could. If I were absolutely sure that they did it. Certainly if I caught them in the act.
Some people do deserve to die. Absolutely, they do.

Monogamy
We were philosophizing last night after our softball extravaganza. (We won one, lost one - a good outing for us) Gerri and I were the oldest folks - at 40 and 36 - at the table and the only couple. Z was giving us a bit of a hard time and she said, "You're so OLD, and you act like a couple of 18 year olds."
Someone else said, "That's why you're still together."
Thinking about that the next morning (now) I think there's certainly some truth there. We are the happiest couple I know. We like each other. We like to be together. Not to say it's paradise, we have spats. We get crabby with each other, sometimes. But on balance I can't imagine being happy without her.
So how does that happen?
A lot of our friends are divorced or in not-so-happy marriages. One of Gerri's friends is just divorced (or almost divorced, I don't remember) and it was a torturous decision for her. Gerri and I had many conversations about her situation and what we thought she should do.
She's not in love with him anymore. But she's afraid of divorcing him and then suddenly finding herself in love with him again.
I just don't think that happens. So my thought is that divorce is the right thing for her. They have two small kids, but they've been separated for the last 20 months. Their kids are used to them not being together and I think divorce is actually easier on younger kids. (Guess I could do some research on that theory ...)
I'm rambling a little. What I was trying to get at was how do you know when you've found a soulmate. And I guess you just know. I never had any real doubts about Gerri and me, and we had quite a few obstacles thrown in our way. We just knew that we had to be together.

The New Patriotism
I'm not sure what bugs me so much about the new patriotism that's sprung from the ashes of the WTC. I haven't added any new flags to my wardrobe. I haven't taped a paper copy of Old Glory to any windows on my house or car. I don't think this makes me any less a patriot than the masses who have made such displays.

In the weeks following the attacks I felt a heightened sense of community with my country-mates. Though I have to confess, one of the first things I did on the day of the attacks was to look up the number of people killed when we A-bombed Japan. I wanted to put this event in some sort of context.

That initial communal instinct was a natural one, I think. Sometime after that first month or so, though, I felt like it began to feel different. The entrepreneurs and marketing firms were in full stride to find the most profitable angles. The government was blowing the trumpets of the War on Terrorism. It just began to feel too managed, too contrived, too spun.

There was a lot of posturing. Threats were made. Tears were shed. And in the end - or should I say to date - not a whole Hell of a lot has really been done. We took over the weakest Muslim country we could find where - so it was said - U/Osama bin Ladin was holed up.

Much like the heralded War on [some] Drugs, we've declared War on [some] Terrorists [who most of the world agrees suck and don't control any oil]. Part of the problem, see, is that sometimes it's hard to tell the terrorists from the freedom fighters. I would think England considered the colonials who dumped tea in Boston harbor to be terrorists.

There's a big difference between the Boston Tea Party and the terrorists of today, but there are some parallels.

Later, a different day ...
Okay...haven't been here for a while.


We got a new dog. An Australian Shepherd (a red merle if that means anything to you) He's great with kids, but isn't too fond of adults. I'm hoping he outgrows that. Makes me wonder if the people we got him from weren't so nice to him ...


In other news, we're mostly going to soccer games. With both boys on travelling teams we have a game or practice Monday through Thursday for sure. Sometimes they have something on Friday and if they have a tournament that pretty much is our weekend. It's fun to watch, but ... a lot.

Goodbye, Bogie
We had our dog put to sleep today. Bogie was about eleven years old, and really doing poorly. That doesn't help much. We loved that dog. He was older than all but one of our kids....

I'm very sad.

Blushing
Okay. I'm a dork.

I ran out of gas this morning on my way to work. The embarrassing part is that it took me 15 minutes to figure out I was out of gas. I was sure something major was wrong with the bike.

The first indication of trouble was when I stopped at a light and it died. Of course, then it started right back up and - at first - seemed to run okay as long as I kept the throttle pretty open. I guess this is why the fuel situation didn't occur to me.

Anyway, I stalled three or four times at various lights and finally decided to try to limp home and get the car. I got it started again and got moving. Then it promptly died again right in the middle of an intersection. I pushed it through and kept pushing the starter, turning on the choke. I actually got it going one more time and started up a hill. Halfway up it quit again. This time the battery finally started giving out as I was cranking and cranking and cranking away.

Finally it occurred to me that it might just be out of gas. I couldn't decide if I really wanted that to be what was wrong ... how embarrassing. I turned the fuel switch over to reserve and tried again, but it still didn't start.

I decided to push it up the hill to a gas station - about three-quarters of a mile away and (did I mention?) uphill. I took off my jacket and laid it across the seat. I stuck the helmet on one of the mirrors and started pushing. Then the helmet fell off. I reached for it quick and dropped the bike. I picked the bike up and noticed the jacket laying on the ground on the other side of the bike.

It sounds too ridiculous to be true. I wish.

I put the kickstand down, picked up the jacket, and decided I might as well try to start the bike again. It started right up pretty as you please.

I rode straight to a gas station and filled her up.

See!?!?!
When I bought my new computer, I said I expected prices to drop now that I've actually made a purchase. Lo and behold. Right on schedule.

It's the bureaucracy, stupid!
Why do we need the PATRIOT privacy invasion act? Supposedly we had to have it because we were blindsided by the 9/11 attack. But, come to find out, the FBI had intelligence that al Qaeda terrorists were planning to hijack airliners. They even had one of those terrorists in custody!

What got in the way wasn't lack of intelligence (hmmm - you know what I mean); it was the bureacracy.

Redmond's Peruvian Problems
There's a bill before the legislature of Peru that would require all state entities to use open source software. Microsoft thinks this is a terrible idea. The general manager of Microsoft Peru wrote a letter enumerating his arguments in favor of everyone using his company's software.

Then the author (I think) of the bill, one DR. EDGAR DAVID VILLANUEVA NUÑEZ. Congressman of the Republica of Perú, responded.

If, like me, you're one of those people who likes to see a weak argument eviscerated, you'll enjoy his letter. It's a thing of beauty.

Here's a related story from Wired.

It's all good
I'm getting more comfortable on the bike - haven't fallen off or dropped it, yet. The weather has been pretty decent lately which is nice. Everyone is bugging me to get a couple of helmets for passengers. There's no helmet law in Minnesota, but Hailey would have a fit - rightly so IMOP - if we let anyone ride without one. She always points out people riding bikes without helmets.

I've been playing softball on the company team. We've pretty much sucked, so far. Mostly we just can't hit for shit. Defensively we manage, we just can't get enought runs on the board. I haven't been doing too great, myself. After I embarrassed myself in the first game, I realized I hadn't been on a softball team in about 15 years. It definitely showed. I'm slowly knocking the rust off, though. I desperately need some batting practice.

AAHHHHH
The bike arrived promptly at 7:00 a.m. Of course I had to ride it around the neighborhood once - and around our cul-de-sac about a hundred times. Fun, fun, fun. Matt has a soccer game tonght and we pretty much have to leave as soon as I get home. That means I won't be able to ride it when I get home.

Only one complaint so far on the bike. One of our friends called Gerri to tell her to get the bike out of the driveway so her hubby wouldn't see it. bwah-ha-ha

Also got the computer set up and running. Gerri's not happy with the state of the office - the new box is on the floor and there are various cables laying about. She keeps saying - you're not keeping all THREE computers in here, are you??? .... Noooooo.... Well, kinda. What I'll probably do is move the Mac, and put the CrappyOld98Box-cum-ZippyNewLinuxBox in it's spot. First I have to finish transferring stuff from old to new box.

XP was pre-installed and it was all ready to roll, so set up was pretty darn simple. The only problem I had was me being an idiot for a couple of hours. I installed a second NIC in the new box to use it share the internet connection. After much futzing with settings and re-running the network config wizard about 20 times, I was able to see the old box from the new one and copy some stuff over. BUT I lost the internet.

Long story short - at 11:30 I realized I hadn't added the DNS servers to the connections. One more reboot later I was back online.

An-ti-ci-payshun
Met Al at the license bureau yesterday to transfer the title and money. No worries. He's bringing the bike by the house tomorrow morning around 7:00. I'll probably be able to sleep ... except that I went at lunch today and picked up the new computer, so I may have to play with that 'til the wee hours. First, of course, I have to find time to open the box and hook everything up. Hailey and Ben have soccer tonight, so it won't happen 'til sometime after that.

Hope the neighbors don't have a problem with me riding around the cul-de-sac at 7:15 a.m.

New Toys
I'm getting a motorcycle and a new computer. Whoo-hoo!
The motorcycle is a '96 Yamaha Seca II. It's red and looks really clean. It's not a huge bike, but that's okay. I haven't been on a bike in 15 years, so I don't want to go too nuts. I looked at quite a few 'entry-level' bikes and this one is the best fit for what I'm looking for - at least in my price range - around US$3000. If I had more money to spend, I'd probably get a BMW F650. The Seca II is a good bike, though, and I'm thrilled with it. It's even recommended by BeginnerBikes.com. I'm going to pay for it today and transfer the title, but I don't get the bike until Friday. A little frustrating, but that's okay. I could take it today, but I don't want to ride it home on the freeway. I need a little practice before I'm ready for that mess.

I ordered the new computer a couple of days ago from General Nanosystems - they're a Twin-cities outfit that has a good local reputation among the geekerati - decent prices for good components. I'm getting a pretty basic Athlon XP1600 machine -
Athlon Value System
Athlon XP 1600+ (1.4G) CPU
ATX Mid Tower Case w/300W Power Supply AMD Approved
Lite On 16X DVD-ROM
Cooler Master Socket A Heatsink and Fan
Teac 1.44 Floppy Drive
Western Digital 40G 7200RPM ATA/100 Hard Drive
Keytronic PS/2 Keyboard
Biostar M7VIB Mainboard w/Integrated 16bit Audio
256MB PC2100 DDR
Microsoft Optical Wheel Mouse
TRENDnet 10/100 Network Card
Microsoft Windows XP Home Edition
Chaintech GeForce2 MX 400 64MB AGP Video Card w/TV Out
1 Year Parts and Labor Warranty

Subtotal $664.00 Tax $46.48 Total $710.48
If you're thinking about getting a computer, wait a week or so. Now that I've actually ordered one prices should drop dramatically.

I'm just glad to be finally getting away from the broken down box we have at home right now - see previous rant - 4/25/2002.

I'm baa-aaack.
My %$@% free web host was down for the past two weeks. I finally just created a new account. Hopefully, it'll continue to work for a while.

More on Bogie
Bogie's our Miniature Schnauzer. He's about 11, I think, (That's 77 for you and me) and not long for this world. He's been acting like a little old man dog for the past year or two, but he's gotten worse in the last couple of months.

The first sign we had was when he started puking on a regular basis. We thought maybe he had some sort of stomach tumor or some degenerative condition. Gerri and I debated whether or not to have him treated or just put to sleep. I kept saying that if he had something treatable - within reason - then we should do it. Eventually she agreed and took him in to the vet. $400 later we found out that his esophagus had basically lost all muscle tone and stretched to several times it's normal size. The reason he was 'regurgitating' (as the vet put it) was that the food wasn't getting to his stomach - it was literally stuck in his throat. He was down to 7 lbs. and was essentially starving to death.

That made us feel nice.

The fix was that he had to stand on his hind legs to eat and drink. The vet also recommended some high-calorie food to help him gain some weight. So we did all that and he really started perking up a little. Amazing what a difference regular nutrition can make.

Weekend Update
Trekked on over to Green Bay this weekend for a wedding. My step-sister-in-law (?) got married. Gerri, Ben, Hailey, and Maia left around noon Friday with Jennifer, Madison, and Peyton. (how terrible is it that I'm not sure I spelled my niece's name right - may be Payton - this is no way to start the week) Dave flew into Green Bay from his meetings out east, and I left after work with Matt and Bogie (the dog - more on him later).

Matt and I were listening to a book on tape - Far North, I think - and I was pretty into it, and not-so-much paying enough attention to where I was going. I missed out exit and didn't figure it out for a loooong time. It could have been worse I guess, but it still cost us at least an hour.

Saturday morning we got up and I took the kids swimming in the hotel pool. Maia pretty much monopolized my time - "Let's jump in, Dad!" "Come into the hot water!" Come into the cold water!" She had a blast, but by the time we were done swimming she was about ready for a nap. This was bad, because it was time to get ready for the wedding. That was an adventure in itself - six people taking showers and getting dressed in one hotel room. Eventually it was decided that Dave and I would skip the wedding to stay with Maia and Peyton while they napped. It was a tough job, but we managed to get through with beer and the Hornets vs. The Magic. (Baron Davis was robbed at the end of regulation - that was a ridiculous call.)

Eventually the wedding-goers returned and we all freshened up and headed over to the pre-reception party. It was in someone's garage, which is very Green Bay, and there were plenty of adult beverages. It was a nice garage, but I'm not a fan of parties where I know virtually nobody. I find that I just smile and nod a lot, and usually follow in Gerri's wake. The kids actually did great - the boys played cards and Hailey hung out with some high school kids and played a computer game - she's much better than me at making friends in strange places. Which makes me nervous, sometimes. I'd rather my cute, five-year-old daughter was a little more cautious with strangers.

The reception was fun. Dinner was the obligatory fried chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes and dressing. It was fine. For some reason we had a table right up front. I was a little uncomfortable with that since we barely know the bride.

After dinner there was free beer at the bar and a band. The band was great. They were from Milwaukee and really a lot of fun, though not at all your usual Wedding Singer type band. They played a lot of alternative rock stuff - Dave Matthews, Sara McGlothlin, Alanis, Train - and some different older stuff - James Taylor, Simon and Garfunkel, Grateful Dead, Warren Zevon.

Gerri had told the girls that they'd get to dance, and they were way into it. Hailey made a new best friend with the flower girl - another five-year-old running around in a miniature bride dress. Maia dragged me onto the floor and had a blast except for her complaints that it was 'too loud'.

Cars are a pain in the ass
I despise most aspects of owning a car.

I mean it's nice being able to get where you need to go, and mostly I even like driving. It's all the other stuff that makes me crabby.

Some people enjoy buying cars. My brother-in-law does it for a living - actually, now he's in charge of a lot of other people who buy cars, but he used to do it himself. These people like to negotiate; they like the back and forth, the games, the histrionics of the salesman who'll 'have to check with my manager'. I am not one of those people. The whole process makes me very uptight and when it's all over I'm always sure I got screwed, and everyone at the dealership is having a nice chuckle over my inept attempts to be a hard-nosed deal-maker.

Only slightly less upsetting to me is having a car serviced. Actually, I think I feel even more helpless when I have to talk to a mechanic then I do talking to a salesman. I don't know enough about cars to know when they're selling me shit I don't need. I know the salesman is trying to ring every last drachma out of me. With the mechanic there's at least a chance that he's being honest and only fixing stuff that's actually broke.

My whole car-service-buying life I've known one mechanic that I really (almost completely) trusted. He had a shop in Knoxville, Tennessee and he only worked on Hondas. At the time we owned two Hondas (actually a Honda and an Acura - same thing) so it was perfect. Unfortunately, I didn't discover him until right before we moved to Green Bay.

This subject is on my mind because I took our van in yesterday to get two new tires. The tire people tried, of course, to sell me four tires. Our van has all-wheel-drive and they were telling me about some (supposed) friend at another shop who just got sued for putting two tires on an AWD van, because the transfer-case crapped out. After a couple of minutes of back-and-forth I convinced them to just sell me the two tires I came in for. But it's still in the back of my mind - what if they're right ...

All in all, cars are just barely worth the trouble.

Update:
They were right ... $1800 later, I can tell you, they were absolutely right.

My latest jones, and some serious rambling
I really, really want a new computer.

The one we have now is a piece of shit. It's about five years old which makes it an antique in Moore's law time. It has a Cyrix 166 processor, 96MB of Ram, two hard drives totalling about 11GB. The last time I re-installed (crappy) Windows 98 I partitioned the drives into about five different logical drives so I'm often moving stuff around to free up space. I thought it made sense to have separate drives for me, Gerri, and the kids. I put the OS on one partition, and also created another miscellaneous one. I don't ever remember smoking crack, but this makes me wonder.

At one point I had it set up to dual-boot Linux, but I trashed that. I'd love to move to Linux, but I don't think Gerri would be thrilled. She fears change. I have Linux running on my laptop which is currently living in my closet. The good news is I bought it old and used off of Ebay. The bad news is it has a 1GB hard drive so I can barely make it fun.

Actually the biggest problem is that my home network doesn't so much work. I have DSL through my phone company - a small non-Bell former co-op. Instead of a cable/DSL router, they gave me some kind of funky modem with only one connection. I've got it running into a hub with all my (two at the moment; three if I haul out the laptop) computers hooked into it, but I can only have one on the Internet at a time - my ISP doesn't do DHCP anymore. I've got a fixed IP. (uh, I think) I think if I had an open PCI slot , I could throw another NIC in it and maybe get something going, but all my slots are full on my Win98 machine and I don't really want to mess with my Mac - an old 9600 with a 133 MHz processor (I think) that I got for $40.

So, you see, all my problems will be solved when I get my new computer that I really, really want. It'll be:
* faster
* more stable with XP
* better for networking, 'cause XP is
* more capacious - I'm thinking at least a 40GB drive
* ready for another NIC so my home network is really a network
* generally cooler 'cause it's new

And then I plan on turning my current clunker into a bad-ass Linux rocker. Or something like that.

Those bastards at Yahoo
Yahoo's doing away with free Pop email forwarding and I'm a little crabby about it.
I switched to yahoo as my primary personal email a couple of years ago because I got tired of asking all my friends to update their address books every time I switched ISPs or jobs - which seemed to be happening a lot. I picked yahoo over the other web-mailers because of their Pop server access - I could set up my email client to download my yahoo mail just like my email through my ISP.
Now they've decided to charge for this service. The words 'Bait and Switch' come to mind.
I won't be giving those yahoos (ouch, sorry) one thin dime. I'm shopping the alternatives. I'm thinking about going ahead and getting my own domain and getting my email through whoever hosts it.